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  “What?” she asked in a daze.

  “What’s up with you. You’ve been zombie-like for the last ten minutes. Don’t try to deny it,” she held up a hand to stem Iris’s excuse before she could even form one. “Your eyes are greying out and if you’re not careful, you’ll gnaw a hole in your lower lip.”

  “Really? Ten minutes?”

  Zarina nodded. “What’s up?” she asked again.

  Iris sighed and took the proffered can of soda. “Aeri and Vi ditched me. I feel guilty for ditching them all day, but still. I wish they’d waited for me to go to dinner.”

  “Yeah, I see what you’re saying. Roz already knew I planned on having dinner with Jaden and then coming here, so she wasn’t expecting me, but it’s not like Vi to forget to text you or something.”

  “They left me a note that said they’d be back late. Whatever late means.”

  “Well, Vi’s parents are here. They probably wanted to take all three of you out for dinner, but Vi would never make them wait. Not even for you. I bet it’s just a simple oversight. I’m sure she was distracted with moving in and the mello section invading your dorm room—”

  “How do you know about that?”

  “Aeri texted Roz. I bet it was hilarious. Let’s go talk to people. You’ve made a lot of new friends in the last week. It’ll get your mind off things,” Zarina encouraged in a sing-song voice as she tugged at Iris’s arm.

  “All right, but how about a conversation outside where my eyes aren’t so obvious?”

  Zarina nodded. The pair left the garage and found Anwyn in the backyard. They didn’t need lights to recognize her distinct laugh.

  “Hey Zarina, Iris.” Anwyn moved to her right and welcomed them into the circle.

  Iris only half paid attention to the conversation around her and was extremely grateful for the lack of bright lights as she had a perfect view of Thorin making out with his girlfriend.

  “She’s lost in her own thoughts again,” Iris heard someone say before Zarina elbowed her in the ribs.

  “I said hi, my name’s Matt. I live here.” A short, medium-built man with glasses held a hand out to her.

  “Sorry. Hi, I’m Iris.” She reached a hand forward and shook his.

  “Oh, so you’re Iris. Guess I’ll have to wait until we’re inside to get a look at your eyes.

  Chapter 4

  Iris tried to stifle a grimace. She tightened her jaw as her eyes twinged.

  “How are you liking band so far?” Matt continued.

  “So far so good,” she shrugged. She was less than thrilled that someone blabbed about her eyes.

  “Glad we haven’t scared you away or anything. This band is weird and quirky; something a lot of people from larger high schools don’t like and I’ve heard Pacific’s band is massive.”

  “Yeah. Over four hundred members. As far as this band goes, I haven’t seen anything stranger than my own friends or family, so I’ll need a lot more weirdness before you guys scare me away.”

  “I like her!” Matt announced to the group. “What classes are you taking this quarter?”

  Iris loosened up to Matt as they discovered they were in the same Japanese class. They talked so long she didn’t notice the emptiness of the backyard and garage until a lot of noise came from the house.

  “Sounds like it’s started. Come on. We can go in through my room.”

  Iris followed Matt inside. A wall of noise blasted them. It irritated Iris for some reason and set her emotions into overdrive. She didn’t know what to think or how to feel. Her mind replayed everything that had upset her that evening.

  Jealousy for Thorin’s girlfriend. Anger at the fact someone told Matt about her eyes and where she was from. Loneliness from being ditched by her roommates. Nervousness from being around so many new people and hoping she didn’t make a mistake. Fear about backsliding into her old, scared self. She sighed and looked over at Matt. He stared at her face. Depression won. Her eyes stopped tingling and Matt waved a hand at her to follow him.

  He led her back to his room and shut the door. “I can’t imagine high school was easy for you, let alone middle school.”

  “Neither were.”

  “When Jaden told me about your eyes, I didn’t believe him. After seeing them go through that many changes in less than a minute . . . damn.” He shook his head. “You ever consider wearing contacts?”

  Iris let out a huff. Jaden. She’d never thought to tell him not to mention her eyes to anyone. Hell, he may have told people about her eyes last year. At least she couldn’t be mad at anyone besides herself. “I tried wearing colored contact lenses, but I forgot to put them in as often as not. It became more annoying than anything. Not to mention the lack of sleep made my eyes dry and itchy all the time.”

  “I get that. It’s why I wear glasses. So, Jaden said the colors mean different moods. That right?”

  “Yup, that’s how it works. I can’t hide my emotions from anyone who knows the color combinations. I’ve become fairly adept at keeping my facial features smooth, but I had to practice a long time to achieve that, so most of the people I went to elementary school with know what each color means and how to coax them all out of hiding. My friends know, too. And of course, there are always people who’ve pissed me off or made me cry or whatever that figure out those colors at least.”

  “Man. That sucks. I hate it when people know how I’m feeling. I prefer to keep as calm as possible on the outside so nothing shows on my face.”

  “I’d say you’re pretty good at it.” Iris was glad jealousy didn’t reach her voice.

  “Thanks. Sounds like they’ve stopped.”

  A knock at Matt’s door followed the sudden drop of volume throughout the house.

  “Yeah?” he yelled.

  “Got a light?”

  Matt leaned over the side of his bed. By the time he sat up, the room had filled with people. Iris realized too late this was the smoking room. Not being a smoker of anything, she made to get up so someone else could have her place. Matt waved at her to sit back down. He gave quick introductions and Iris nodded to each person as they waved at her. She could tell a few of them were taken aback by having a freshman in the room, but Iris was used to being judged and too drained for it to bother her at the moment. Matt turned on some music and light conversation filled the room.

  Sometime later she heard someone call her name. She opened the sliding glass door and stuck her head out. Ara and Thorin were looking for her. She ducked back into Matt’s room, said thanks and bye to him and everyone else in the room, and left. She didn't realize it was past one in the morning until they were in Thorin’s car.

  Iris let herself into her dorm room as quietly as possible. Aeri and Vi were both asleep. She kept a groan inside as she realized the one box she hadn’t unpacked contained her bedding. Instead, she grabbed her sleeping bag from where she’d tossed it in the closet, changed into pajamas and climbed into bed. All things considered, it hadn’t been a horrible day. Or week.

  A loud pounding on their door woke Iris, Aerianna, and Violet Sunday morning. Violet stumbled out of bed and answered it. A cheerful voice introduced herself as their RA before talking very fast about an array of fun things to do that day with other freshmen and how it was great to form a community or some such bullshit. Iris ignored her, pressed the play button on her phone, and put her earbuds back in.

  She rolled over and fell back asleep. Sometime later, she woke of her own accord. Violet and Aerianna were awake too, but neither had bothered to get out of bed. Iris decided to be a trendsetter. She got up, grabbed clothes, and took a shower.By the time she rejoined Aerianna and Violet, they were both up, dressed, and eating cereal. She glanced at her watch. They’d missed breakfast at the dining commons—the DC as everyone called it.

  “We should send your parents a thank you note for the mini-fridge,” Aeri said through a mouthful of something. “Especially if we turn missing breakfast at the DC into a habit.”

  “Agreed,�
�� Violet managed after shoveling a full spoonful into her mouth.

  “I know they’d appreciate it,” Iris agreed. She poured herself a bowl and sat on her desk, elbows on knees and feet on her chair. “When does Cirrus move in?”

  “This afternoon. Can you show us and Roz around campus this morning? Then we can grab lunch before meeting Cirrus at his dorm.”

  Iris nodded. Once they’d finished breakfast and grabbed what they’d need for the day, they texted Roz and biked over to her dorm.

  “Yeah, Zarina’s out with Jaden again. I’m getting the distinct impression I won’t see her as much as I thought I would.”

  “Well, that means Rowen can visit often at least,” Violet tried to be optimistic for her.

  “True. Thanks for that perspective, Vi. Anyway, let's get the tour started oh mighty guide of campus.”

  “Call me that again and you can figure it out for yourself.”

  Rozlynd laughed.

  “All right, where are your classes?” Iris asked after she realized she was taking things too seriously at the moment.

  It turned out their classes were all over campus. They had one comparative literature class in common, so that was nice, but otherwise, it was a lot of back and forth so everyone could get their routes down.

  “Man, this campus is massive!” Aerianna exclaimed when they locked their bikes up and headed to the DC for lunch.

  “No kidding. Yay for bikes?” Rozlynd asked with a toothy, fake smile.

  “Yes,” Violet and Iris agreed at the same time. “Yay for bikes.”

  Cirrus texted Violet halfway through lunch to say he’d arrived. She scarfed the rest of her food down in a fraction of the time it’d taken her to eat the first half. She was clearly impatient to get going.

  “Why don’t you head over and we’ll be behind you in ten to fifteen?” Iris told her.

  “Perfect! See you guys soon.”

  “I could’ve left now.”

  “Oh, come on Aeri. Are you kidding me? Vi was looking for an excuse to be alone with him. It’s been like a week or something. I think Cirrus and his parents were visiting his brother before coming up to Davis,” Iris admonished her.

  “Ah. Good point.”

  Iris texted to Violet as they left the DC. She and Cirrus were waiting for them outside Cirrus’s dorm. Iris half smiled at Violet who flushed. It was nothing compared to the shades of red Cirrus could turn with his low skin pigmentation. Aeri and Roz laughed at them.

  “Are you going to show me around campus or should we head back upstairs?”

  “Who said I’d show you around?”

  “Back upstairs it is, then.” Cirrus made to get up.

  “I’ll show you around. I’ll show you around. Come on,” Iris told him. “Where are your parents?”

  “They already took off. I think they were tired of being away from home. They helped me bring my stuff up to my room, gave me a hug and left,” he shrugged. “Guess it’s easier with the second child.”

  “Not for my parents. But then again, my sister didn’t do the whole straight to college thing,” Violet mused.

  A little over an hour later, Iris completed her second tour of campus. She led everyone to the arboretum where they sat in the shade of a large tree and watched ducks swim in the creek that ran along the outskirts of campus. Iris lay on the grass and lazily spun a flower in front of her face with magic.

  “Aren’t you always the one saying we shouldn’t use magic in obvious ways where anyone can see us?” Rozlynd inquired in an accusatory tone.

  “Yes,” Iris agreed. “It’s been too long. I start to feel like I’m bursting at the seams if I don’t use it for long periods of time.” She grabbed the flower out of the air and spun it between two fingers. “Oh! That reminds me, there’s a magic user in my section.”

  “Seriously, Iris? Seriously? You just remembered this now?” Aerianna demanded.

  “I only figured it out yesterday on the way to the football game and you guys were gone when I got home the first time and asleep the second time. I could tell there was a magic user on day one, but I didn’t confirm who until yesterday. Zarina had me on a strict no magic rule, so there was no way for me to search the person out.”

  “Fine. I forgive you. So who is it?”

  “Oh, sorry. It’s Thorin. The guy who asked you about your eyes, Vi.”

  “He’s cute,” Vi said.

  “Totally,” Aeri agreed.

  “I know. Unfortunately, he has a girlfriend.”

  “Damn. The cute ones are always taken,” Violet muttered.

  “You know I’m right here, right?” Cirrus butted into the conversation.

  “Yes.”

  “Thanks, sweets. You make me feel so loved.”

  Violet rolled onto an elbow and kissed him. “You know I love you. Besides, you’re one of the cute ones who’s already taken.”

  “Awe, make me barf,” Roz cut in.

  Iris and Aerianna laughed.

  “You’re one to talk,” Cirrus told Roz.

  “You got me there. What’s there to eat around here? That’s not the DC, I mean.”

  “There’s lots of stuff in downtown Davis my upper bandsman showed me. I’ll show you,” Iris said. She stuck the flower behind her ear and thought about how easy it had been to drop all flows of power after not using magic for over a week. She pushed the thoughts out of her mind as she rode into the quaint downtown area of Davis.

  Chapter 5

  Iris’s alarm woke her at six thirty Thursday morning. She would have groaned, hit the snooze button, and rolled over like normal but she didn’t want to wake Aerianna or Violet. Neither of them had class until after nine. Instead, she rolled out of bed and got ready before riding to campus for her first ever college class: chemistry.

  Her brain tried to determine where the previous three days had gone during her twelve-minute ride. They were nothing more than a blur of using magic as much as she wanted around the dorm room, heading to the island or her private practice glade dozens of times, and laughter around shared meals at the DC with her best friends.

  It took Iris more effort than she cared to admit to wrestle her brain into academic mode as she took a seat in the back of the large room. Besides the fact that the lecture hall was massive, the class was just like any other class she’d taken. The professor handed out syllabuses, reviewed the grading rubric, wrote test dates on the board, and jumped straight into the topic. Even though Iris took chemistry in high school, it hadn’t been her best subject. Now her sleep-deprived mind tried to wrap itself around anything the professor said.

  When class ended she rushed to her bike before riding across campus to her Japanese class. Matt walked in a few seconds after her. They had enough time to say hi before a Japanese woman walked in, taught them the proper way to greet a teacher, and started class. Iris didn’t have time to stay after and chat with Matt as she had to rush back across campus for her chemistry lab. She felt a little more confident at the hands-on section of the class, but not much. By the time the three-hour lab ended, Iris’s brain was fried, and she still had three more classes to worry about on Friday.

  Iris fell into a routine of class, band, homework, and magic before realizing she’d bit off way more than she could chew. She wondered what the hell she’d been thinking when she signed up for five classes. Especially since she really needed to concentrate on chemistry and pre-calculus to get her desired astrophysics degree. While the aerospace seminar and class on fairy tales and myths were both fun, neither were necessary. Nor was Japanese.

  By the time midterms came, Iris was miserable. She dropped magic from her life in favor of office hours and studying in the library. Band took a huge hit too. College was supposed to be the best time of her life and so far, it was the most stressful. To top it off, she didn’t feel like herself. Her eyes hovered between a combination of grey and brown tinged with green more often than not. The finals arrived, she hoped for passing grades.

  “You bit
off way more than you could chew,” Rozlynd told her the night after her last final. “At least you’ll never do it again.”

  “That’s for sure,” Iris agreed at their celebratory our-first-finals-are-over dinner. “I figured I did it in high school, so . . . ” she ended with a shrug.

  “At least you know your limits now, right?”

  Iris nodded. “Thanks, guys.” Iris pushed food around on her plate. She wasn’t cheered up yet, but she was getting there. “Hey! You guys want to get some practicing in tonight?” she asked with a genuine smile on her face. It’d been weeks since she’d done more than move things around the dorm room and she itched to release some of the built-up magical pressure bubbling inside her.

  “You got something new?” they asked in unison.

  “No. Nothing like that. I thought it might cheer me up, that’s all.”

  “I was more thinking like ice cream, a movie, and bed, myself.”

  “Sounds perfect. Good suggestion, Roz,” Aerianna agreed.

  “What do you think, Iris?” Violet asked.

  “Sure. Why not?” she said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. None of them noticed it was fake.

  The four girls left the DC for their dorm room. Violet pulled the pile of blankets and sleeping bags out from under her bed that Rozlynd used as a sleepover bed before starting Ever After. It’d become one of their favorites movies since Mr. McLain played it for his classes senior year.

  Though her friends were captivated by the movie, Iris’s mind jumped between thoughts of her abysmal performance in her first quarter of college and the torrent of pulsating power within her. She decided she needed a bigger distraction than a movie.

  Iris closed her eyes and sent almost her entire mind to the Gallery of Doors. It felt different being within the room so fully. Everything seemed sharper to her. Like her senses were on overdrive. She walked straight to Thorin’s door to the left of Cirrus’s in the first row of doors and stopped. Not for the first time, Iris wondered about the placement of the doors and the reasoning behind them.